Thursday, March 29, 2012

Failed Experiments / Proxy Attacks / Where I Belong

This would ordinarily be the post where I talk about my latest experiment and report back to you guys with the my latest findings but um. Well.

I never finished it. I know that sounds horrible, but I think once you hear the equally horrible explanation of what I went through that caused the experiment to fail, you'll understand a little better I hope. If not then screw you okay I'm a girl with a hectic life. I got halfway through my experiment and I do have notes from that, so I suppose I'll begin my story with that. But DUNJUDGE. >:C

I decided to act on some of my pondering related to 'Dream Theory'(which is another post in itself now, thank you very much) and experiment with lucid dreaming. I wanted to see if I could...if I could summon him, honestly, while in a state of lucid dreaming or even possibly sleep paralysis. The latter would probably be much more dangerous I'd imagine however, since it's essentially the opposite of lucid dreaming except for how vivid and aware you feel during. It would be very bad to have him around and NOT be able to move or function at all...I imagine that is what being a Proxy must be like. Ick...

The first step in my plan was to wait it out for a few days and stop moving from place to place. I rented a hotel room, oh...August 8th, I think? And proceeded to stay there for about three days and three nights. This of course was to draw him to me as soon as possible during the Lucid Dream. I wanted to be able to have him there and see how his presence affected the dream or how the dream affected his presence, whichever.   On the third night, I initiated step two of my plan, which was the Lucid Dream itself. (Note: I've induced Lucid Dreaming before and know how, generally, but for different reasons back then. >.>)

My results were...unexpected, to say the least.  I floated through what seemed like a very...full...void if that makes any sense, for quite a while.  Despite the emptiness there was the distinct sense that something was all around me, something both wonderful and terrifying and complete all at once.  It was like an entire universe was swimming around me, I just couldn't see it.  I took action.  I spoke my phrase(which shall remain private btw) and activated the Lucid Dreaming, and whoafuck were my results unintended.

First of all, I ended up in a weird room surrounded by people who I couldn't quite see.  There were Operator symbols drawn all over the walls, something which I now knew was my own doing prior to the activation of my Lucid Dream. Words and names floated around and I could just barely make them out...'Elan...Shannon...Davia...Ian...Shaun...Elaine...Nikki...' things like that. It was very, very strange but I was /aware/ of the entire experience in the way a Lucid Dream works.

I chose to walk through the room a little longer, examining the place, trying to see the mysterious people there with me,(which I failed to do, strangely enough) and peering into all of the rooms. I also materialized myself a drink to see that I really was Lucid Dreaming.  I didn't even know such yummy cocktails existed! x3  There was still no sign of Slenderman, however, and I began to really worry my plan had failed.

Then I heard it.  This sort of creaking, yawning sound, like the ground was slowly tearing apart.  A chasm opened up just to my right, and I decided to fly above it to see if I could get a better view at what was causing all of this.  For a Lucid Dream, everything was surprisingly beyond my control aside from my own actions. There was a distinct hissing sound coming from inside the chasm below, and I peered down to get a closer look, and heard whispering.  Strange, inhuman whispering coming from all around me.

I...I think a face shot out of the chasm but I can't be sure.  I remember seeing dark, empty eye sockets and a whirlwind of dust or something like dust and and um. Well, I heard the face speak.  It screamed "Leave it alone!" just before the dream ended.

And I woke up to find Proxies standing all around me, whispering and muttering about what to do next.  Most of them jumped back when I sat up stiff and straight in my bed, trying to get my bearings, but their defacto leader was apparently not frightened.  He stood there staring at me, I guess in an impersonation of his tall 'Master', and just tilted his head to the side.  I'm sure I was quite a sight, comically disheveled and only wearing my too-big shirt for sleep...but even considering this what happened next is soooo weird and gross. D:

I knew I couldn't get to my knife in the time it would take this guy to attack me, which he was obviously going to be the one to do.  The other Proxies just stared in dumb-founded wonder and confusion, not really sure what to do without anyone giving them orders I guess.  So I...I had to think fast. Had to act fast. And at the time I was lying in bed and only had a shirt and there was an angry proxy glaring at me and well I mean I guess I think this was my only option or at least I'll tell myself that to make myself feel less icky.


I reached over and grabbed at the Proxy Leader's collar, and dragged him into the best kiss I could possibly muster under the circumstances.  He kind of struggled until he realized what was going on and then he...ohgoditssogrossewww he...he got into it.  He started kissing me back and I pulled him onto the bed with me, and while I was doing all that I discreetly reached for my knife on the end-table beside my bed.  He kept grinding up against me and I did my best to keep up the game while I fumbled around with my other hand.

I...I did not know Proxies still had urges like this.  It is an interesting revelation, even if I had to find out in the most DISGUSTING WAY POSSIBLE.

After that gross-fest I managed to grab my knife.  I whirled my arm up and over his back and stabbed him like, three times, in the shoulder-blade.  He collapsed and rolled off of me and off of the bed, and I was relieved to have him do so.  I sprung up from the bed with my knife and stared at all of the other Proxies, who chose this moment of all the moments to react and start drawing their own weapons. And that's another thing.  if they were all around me while I was asleep and my knife was on the FRIGGIN' END-TABLE RIGHT THERE IN THE OPEN LIKE MY GOD why didn't they just take it?! Not to give them battle strategy's but disarming a teenage girl is a pretty good way to leave her helpless.

Anyway, um. There were only three more of them after their leader was down,(who went down like a total bitch I mean come on three knife wounds to the shoulder isn't enough) so I had to get out of there somehow and it ended up being a very bloody brawl.  I had a black eye for a couple of days and a lot of bruises and cuts from where they nicked me, but I made it out alive and they...well, they got out of it very VERY banged up, I hope.  Apparently the Proxies are stepping up their game or something for some reason some how and I don't really wnt to think about why right now becauuuuuuuuuse

I am writing this from a nice, warm bed in a nice, air-conditioned apartment with a handsome, amazing man who is taking care of me and his pseudo-sister and oh god I couldn't be happier. I'm with Elan if you couldn't already tell and it is the most amazing thing.  We met up by a lake and it was just how I always pictured it and more.  He even took me to dinner at an Italian restaurant because I told him how much I looooove love love Italian food(I really, really do.) It was magical.

I'd talk more about it but the details are somewhat personal and Cam made delicious breakfast and APPARENTLY, according to Elan, 'normal people' get out of bed for that sort of thing or something I guess. I don't really remember or get it or care.  I'm just listening to whatever the Professor tells me because he is the sweetest, most awesome thing in the universe and I can't resist him. <3 ILU SWEETHEART.

Peace and (lots of) Love,


  1. Interesting experiment.
    Also... interesting way of handling a proxy... resourceful, I'll leave it at that.

  2. Oh god I didn't actually want to do that it was gross and weird and I'll certainly never do it again. >////////<

    1. Aww, don't get like that. Kissing proxies is fun.

      We're all cute until the masks come off Dear.

    2. It's not that he was physically unattractive. But the whole 'being a mindless slave to a Faceless Eldritch Horror' thing is sort of a good way to turn a girl off.

      Though he wasn't necessarily good looking either. :/

      Peace and Love(?)

    3. Mindless? I think he proved we're a little less than mindless.

      But only just in his case. Went from killing to kissing. Doesn't exactly speak to highly evolved interests.

    4. It's one example of advanced behavior. It doesn't speak for all of you.

      However, you seem to be quite fascinating in all honesty and I'd be interested in learning more about why you do what you do and um...well what exactly what it is you do, honestly.

      But you probably wont talk to me since we're on opposite sides of things.

      Peace and Love,

    5. Silly little runners.
      Only able to see in shades of black and white.
      I'll talk to you plenty.

      Although the things your asking to know are terribly forward for someone who is already in a relationship. Buy a girl a drink first.

    6. umwhatno. I am a scientist, I study the world around me through observation. My original theory was that proxies were mentally wiped by Slenderman but biologically still functione the same, hence the proxy in this post's reaction to my kissing him. But now I see you have disproved this theory, and the reworked hypothesis is that there are different kinds of proxies with varying degrees of mental, physical, and emotional trauma caused by the Slenderman. There may even be some proxies who choose to live as His servant and

      are you hitting on me oh dear god what is this I don't evennnnnnnn

    7. Aww, that's so adorable. You got a whole rant out before you even noticed. And a good intelligent rant at that.

      So cute. <3

    8. ...I'm not sure if you're building evidence for or against my hypothesis but um but well I'm taken and I'm flattered but you're on the wrong side in many many many ways.


      nevermind. I'm going to sleep for once.

      Peace and,

    9. Dream a pretty little dream for me Shanny dear! <3