Failed Experiments / Proxy Attacks / Where I Belong

This would ordinarily be the post where I talk about my latest experiment and report back to you guys with the my latest findings but um. Well.


I never finished it. I know that sounds horrible, but I think once you hear the equally horrible explanation of what I went through that caused the experiment to fail, you'll understand a little better I hope. If not then screw you okay I'm a girl with a hectic life. I got halfway through my experiment and I do have notes from that, so I suppose I'll begin my story with that. But DUNJUDGE. >:C


I decided to act on some of my pondering related to 'Dream Theory'(which is another post in itself now, thank you very much) and experiment with lucid dreaming. I wanted to see if I could...if I could summon him, honestly, while in a state of lucid dreaming or even possibly sleep paralysis. The latter would probably be much more dangerous I'd imagine however, since it's essentially the opposite of lucid dreaming except for how vivid and aware you feel during. It would be very bad to have him around and NOT be able to move or function at all...I imagine that is what being a Proxy must be like. Ick...


The first step in my plan was to wait it out for a few days and stop moving from place to place. I rented a hotel room, oh...August 8th, I think? And proceeded to stay there for about three days and three nights. This of course was to draw him to me as soon as possible during the Lucid Dream. I wanted to be able to have him there and see how his presence affected the dream or how the dream affected his presence, whichever.   On the third night, I initiated step two of my plan, which was the Lucid Dream itself. (Note: I've induced Lucid Dreaming before and know how, generally, but for different reasons back then. >.>)


My results were...unexpected, to say the least.  I floated through what seemed like a very...full...void if that makes any sense, for quite a while.  Despite the emptiness there was the distinct sense that something was all around me, something both wonderful and terrifying and complete all at once.  It was like an entire universe was swimming around me, I just couldn't see it.  I took action.  I spoke my phrase(which shall remain private btw) and activated the Lucid Dreaming, and whoafuck were my results unintended.


First of all, I ended up in a weird room surrounded by people who I couldn't quite see.  There were Operator symbols drawn all over the walls, something which I now knew was my own doing prior to the activation of my Lucid Dream. Words and names floated around and I could just barely make them out...'Elan...Shannon...Davia...Ian...Shaun...Elaine...Nikki...' things like that. It was very, very strange but I was /aware/ of the entire experience in the way a Lucid Dream works.


I chose to walk through the room a little longer, examining the place, trying to see the mysterious people there with me,(which I failed to do, strangely enough) and peering into all of the rooms. I also materialized myself a drink to see that I really was Lucid Dreaming.  I didn't even know such yummy cocktails existed! x3  There was still no sign of Slenderman, however, and I began to really worry my plan had failed.


Then I heard it.  This sort of creaking, yawning sound, like the ground was slowly tearing apart.  A chasm opened up just to my right, and I decided to fly above it to see if I could get a better view at what was causing all of this.  For a Lucid Dream, everything was surprisingly beyond my control aside from my own actions. There was a distinct hissing sound coming from inside the chasm below, and I peered down to get a closer look, and heard whispering.  Strange, inhuman whispering coming from all around me.


I...I think a face shot out of the chasm but I can't be sure.  I remember seeing dark, empty eye sockets and a whirlwind of dust or something like dust and and um. Well, I heard the face speak.  It screamed "Leave it alone!" just before the dream ended.


And I woke up to find Proxies standing all around me, whispering and muttering about what to do next.  Most of them jumped back when I sat up stiff and straight in my bed, trying to get my bearings, but their defacto leader was apparently not frightened.  He stood there staring at me, I guess in an impersonation of his tall 'Master', and just tilted his head to the side.  I'm sure I was quite a sight, comically disheveled and only wearing my too-big shirt for sleep...but even considering this what happened next is soooo weird and gross. D:


I knew I couldn't get to my knife in the time it would take this guy to attack me, which he was obviously going to be the one to do.  The other Proxies just stared in dumb-founded wonder and confusion, not really sure what to do without anyone giving them orders I guess.  So I...I had to think fast. Had to act fast. And at the time I was lying in bed and only had a shirt and there was an angry proxy glaring at me and well I mean I guess I think this was my only option or at least I'll tell myself that to make myself feel less icky.


>//////////////////<


I reached over and grabbed at the Proxy Leader's collar, and dragged him into the best kiss I could possibly muster under the circumstances.  He kind of struggled until he realized what was going on and then he...ohgoditssogrossewww he...he got into it.  He started kissing me back and I pulled him onto the bed with me, and while I was doing all that I discreetly reached for my knife on the end-table beside my bed.  He kept grinding up against me and I did my best to keep up the game while I fumbled around with my other hand.


I...I did not know Proxies still had urges like this.  It is an interesting revelation, even if I had to find out in the most DISGUSTING WAY POSSIBLE.


After that gross-fest I managed to grab my knife.  I whirled my arm up and over his back and stabbed him like, three times, in the shoulder-blade.  He collapsed and rolled off of me and off of the bed, and I was relieved to have him do so.  I sprung up from the bed with my knife and stared at all of the other Proxies, who chose this moment of all the moments to react and start drawing their own weapons. And that's another thing.  if they were all around me while I was asleep and my knife was on the FRIGGIN' END-TABLE RIGHT THERE IN THE OPEN LIKE MY GOD why didn't they just take it?! Not to give them battle strategy's but disarming a teenage girl is a pretty good way to leave her helpless.


Anyway, um. There were only three more of them after their leader was down,(who went down like a total bitch I mean come on three knife wounds to the shoulder isn't enough) so I had to get out of there somehow and it ended up being a very bloody brawl.  I had a black eye for a couple of days and a lot of bruises and cuts from where they nicked me, but I made it out alive and they...well, they got out of it very VERY banged up, I hope.  Apparently the Proxies are stepping up their game or something for some reason some how and I don't really wnt to think about why right now becauuuuuuuuuse


I am writing this from a nice, warm bed in a nice, air-conditioned apartment with a handsome, amazing man who is taking care of me and his pseudo-sister and oh god I couldn't be happier. I'm with Elan if you couldn't already tell and it is the most amazing thing.  We met up by a lake and it was just how I always pictured it and more.  He even took me to dinner at an Italian restaurant because I told him how much I looooove love love Italian food(I really, really do.) It was...it was magical.


I'd talk more about it but the details are somewhat personal and Cam made delicious breakfast and APPARENTLY, according to Elan, 'normal people' get out of bed for that sort of thing or something I guess. I don't really remember or get it or care.  I'm just listening to whatever the Professor tells me because he is the sweetest, most awesome thing in the universe and I can't resist him. <3 ILU SWEETHEART.


Peace and (lots of) Love,
Shan

Soundtrack Post 3: The Joplin Spider

Oh God I haven't updated so sorry so sorry

Life as a Runner keeps me from posting a lot of the time, but I am so sorry for not updating you guys all the same. I've got an experiment in the works that is pretty kooky...and no it's not the one I emailed you about Elan so don't worry your pretty little Professor head about that I promise this one will be SLIGHTLY less dangerous and insane. I'm pulling it off on the run so it's low-key.


~Peace and Love,
Shannon

So...

...I had just turned nineteen when I started seeing him. I heard about him online, back when he was just creepy pictures on Something Awful and Marble Hornets hadn't even started yet.  I was big into Something Awful. I was big into a lot of things back then. Eventually Marble Hornets did show up, and it became one of my absolute FAVORITE time-wasters for a while.


I never thought I'd end up fucking posting about him myself, I never thought I'd be finding out we'd fucking somehow brought him to FUCKING life through our fear and our paranoia and our FUCKING STORIES.


...I could not believe it when I first saw him  there, standing just outside of the department store where I worked. I just could not. I was working that day and I looked outside the front door, and like, I saw this tall swaying figure standing in the parking lot. It couldn't be him, because he's not real, and he's not going to come for me of all people, and for shit's sakes how can any human being be that damn tall it HAS to be him. ...but it couldn't be.


I was a stupid, naive, foolish little girl and I fucking hate myself for it so much like you don't even know.


Until he was literally in my bedroom, he was staring me right in the fucking face and there were no other options but RUN and save everyone I know and love or die freezing cold and alone just sitting there while everyone around me suffered for my mistake and I'm so scared of real interaction the idea that it could happen again terrifies me.


No, I couldn't let that happen, so I pack up and ran....it's been a year. I still can't comprehend the Slenderman fully. Every single time I see him I get that little voice in the back of my head saying 'it's just your imagination' and I wonder if it is. Maybe that's what we have as an advantage over him though. Maybe...just maybe that little warning in the back of our head is some kind of...reminder that he's there and he's not of our world, somehow. It helps us get away from him. Helps us see and know when he's there, 'cause I honestly believe that knowledge and understanding are out best weapons against him.


I just wish I could have my fucking life back goddammit. I know this post isn't useful or experiment oriented or anything like that but I just felt rant-y and really needed to get this out because like right now I'm sitting derping around on a fucking rooftop, and ALL I can bring myself to do is read blogs from other people who are being followed or watch videos from people who are being followed or look at pictures of him on Google and jeebus I have no idea why. I can't bring myself to do anything else. I just want to get to Austin, TX, so I can be with Elan and Cam and maybe play video games or watch movies or do whatever normal people are supposed to do.


Maybe then I can stop thinking about this horrible fucking situation I'm in for just a little while.


Peace and Love,
Shannon

Findings

Hi guys! I hope you weren't too worried about me while I was away, I know that last post was, like, a little emotional and blah and I don't want to talk about it. Elan made me feel better and I still managed to record my findings on the day vs. night experiment, so we're all set for some science-ing up in this bitch! hehe


I have a little purple notebook I carry with me at all times, along with a gaggle of other things, that I recorded my sightings in as a means of painting a picture of how frequently and in what manner Slenderman shows up during my travels. Because I'm not very good at staying up high and roof-jumping like M says you're supposed to, I see him around a little more often than I'd like, but I guess that works out for this experiment because it gives me several sightings to record. I had like thirteen sightings in one day.


Here are my notes:


Sighting 1, Date 8/3/11:


Time- 11:23 A.M.
Place- West of Comanche National Grassland in Colorado
Distance- Roughly fifty-five feet to my left.
Day or Night?- Day
Other Notes-
This was a standard sighting and he didn't do anything special besides creep me out a whole bunch, just like always. I guess this was my 'wake up call' from Mr. Slendershit.


Sighting 2, 8/3:


Time- 12:22 P.M.
Place- North of Kirkwell
Distance- About 75 to 80 feet, directly ahead of me, standing near a gas station.
Day or Night?- Day
Other Notes-
Another fairly standard sighting, this was on my way into Kirkwell, when I was stopping for a soda to boost my energy. I looooove me some Mountain Dew. I do NOT like me some Eldritch horror at noon.


Sighting 3, 8/3:


Time- 3:59 P.M.
Place- Somewhere in the countryside of Oklahoma
Distance- Ten or so feet away, behind a tree I had made the mistake of approaching for shade; it's fucking hot in the south okay?!
Day or Night?- Day
Other Notes-
Admittedly this was not my smartest decision, but I really needed to cool off somehow and those trees were the only things in sight.  After that I ran the hell away, which leads me to the next few sightings.


Sightings 4, 5, & 6 8/3:


Time- Between 4:10 P.M. and 4:35 P.M.
Place- During my mad dash away from the tree-line I made the mistake of going near.
Distance- S4: Approx. five feet away, S5: Approx. three feet away, S6: Approx. nineteen feet away.
Day or Night?- Day
Other Notes-
These last four were the last of my day-light sightings, and they all took place within the same period of time as I was running away from the trees. It was a foolish mistake and I can't believe I did what I did but hindsight is twenty-twenty I guess. Plus I'm out of breath now. He appeared and disappeared in front of me and around me several times during my sprint, and I was unable to avoid being brushed up against by one of the tentacles during S5. It still burns like hell. After this, I didn't see him again for several hours.


Sighting 8, 8/3:


Time- 8:34 P.M
Place- Stratford, Texas
Distance- I'd estimate about twenty to thirty feet away, standing across the street from the hotel I was attempting to check into.
Day or Night?- Night
Other Notes-
I was checking into a hotel in Stratford when I saw him standing across the street, and decided it was time to get moving again. This made it a long, long night for me.


Sighting 9, 8/3:


Time- 9:01 P.M.
Place- Route 287, between Stratford, Texas and Cactus, Texas
Distance- About twenty feet northwest of me on the road.
Day or Night?- Night
Other Notes-
This was another ordinary sighting for me, and I logged it and tried to ignore it.


Sighting 10, 8/3:


Time- 10:34 P.M.
Place- Route 287, just north of Cactus, Texas
Distance- Roughly sixteen feet south of me, halfway behind a tree.
Day or Night?- Night
Other Notes-
Another standard sighting.


Sighting 11, 8/4:


Time- 12:31 A.M.
Place- On the countryside south of Cactus, Texas
Distance- Standing over me as I woke up on a bench...
Day or Night?- Technically the next day, but for research purposes we're going with day as defined by whether it is light out and night as defined by whether it is dark. So, Night.
Other Notes-
Yeeeeeeah...I fell asleep on a bench by the road at around 11:37 P.M, thinking it was safe to go to sleep, and when I awoke it was too Mr. Faceless himself standing over me looking all calm and shit. It was scary and I ran away and he didn't seem to follow me, so I don't know if I got away safely or if he just felt like toying with me that time. Asshole.


Sighting 12, 8/4:


Time- 1:11 A.M.
Place- I'm not too sure, my entire body ached by this point and it was dark, and I was in the countryside still.
Distance- Approximately eighteen feet east of me, I think...?
Day or Night?- Night
Other Notes-
Standard sighting.


Sighting 13, 8/4:


Time- 1:45 A.M.
Place- Still the countryside of Texas, somewhere near Route 287 again I guess. I lost track.
Distance- Ten feet away exactly, I'd say.
Day or Night?- Night
Other Notes-
This is the last sighting before I fell asleep in a ditch by the side of the road without meaning to. It was fairly standard and I didn't awaken to Slenderman or anything. I only got about three hours of sleep there, though.


Conclusion:
As you can see, out of 13 sightings on Wednesday, about 53% of these were day-time sightings and the other 47% or so were night-time sightings. If I missed logging any, they were probably during the evening, but I've gotten pretty good at spotting him and my eyesight is real good so I doubt it would have altered the results very much. Still, it was probably about a 50/50 toss up between day and night sightings, so what can we conclude from this?


Slenderman enjoys appearing as much during the day as he does during the night. I can't speculate on what this means about his nature, but I do believe it to be helpful to other Runners out there, so keep it in mind. You are not safe during the day, nor are you during the night. I know that isn't very cheerful or at all fun to hear, but it is the truth and you should avoid letting your guard down.


-Shannon's Log (X)


So, there you have my notes from Thursday afternoon, after the day was through. I logged the time, date, and place of each sighting like immediately after it happened, then filled in the blanks later. ...Now I am going to go to sleep in a hotel room for a few hours I guess because I'm dead tired and don't want to deal with the world for a while. I've felt bad since I woke up on that park bench, like something inside of me is wrong. Utterly wrong.


But I guess I'll feel better when I get to Elan in Austin, Texas. I have one or two experiments left before I get there, though, so watch out! >:3


Peace and Love,
Shannon

Soundtrack Post 2: Some Kind of Nature

Ugh. This whole surviving thing is more difficult than I keep thinking.

Had a bit of an emotional break down on a bench in the middle of nowhere last night. It was awful and embarrassing and Elan knows about it and I don't want to talk about it. I woke up from this dream and just felt...empty inside. Terribly, violently empty. So I cried. :C


I'll make an update at the end of the week, when I've settled somewhere and I have my findings ready. Right now I'm sleepy.

Leaving Aurora behind...

Move along, move along, just to make it through...


So, right now I'm on the move again. I've got my bag packed and am all set to get out of Aurora, although it makes me sad to leave...this place is actually really beautiful. I can't tell you about the number of places I've had to leave that I really really liked. It sucks hardcore. It's gonna be a couple miles hike to the next town, so don't expect to see me for a while! Okay? Don't worry I promise I'll be alright. Maybe I'll get pictures of our Slenderfriend while I walk if he shows up. x3


Um...I've been thinking a little bit. About Slenderman, actually, and whether he comes out more in the day or more in the night. I wonder about it because usually I'm notpaying attention or counting my sightings up. I see him a lot of course throughout the day...but always at a distance. That's the benefit of running, I suppose. Never seen Him up close just yet...*knocks on wood* heeee x3


But really I mean I have like a dozen notebooks I should fill them with something right? So like while I'm out there on my walk, I'll record my findings and post them up for you guys to see. I hope it helps! I'd really like to contribute something to this whole nightmare we're all living in like, to help people and stuff! And I figure that knowing when it's safe to go out and when it's not is a pretty important thing to know when you're on the run from him don't you?


And uhm...aside from that, I've been musing on Slenderman's origins and his nature lately. Whenever he shows up it's like...like walking around in a dream, or looking at one. The rest of the world is perfectly ordinary, the way it's supposed to be...but he isn't. He's like staring at something that just...shouldn't be there. It almost seems to me that he IS some sort of dream. So what are some things we know about him?


1. He was created on Something Awful, or at least it seems that way.
2. His presence seems almost dream-like for those who can see him.
3. Nothing about him seems 'right.' There is just something about him which is 'off' at all times.
4. When he touches you, it hurt. A LOT.


M and I have talked about #4 there a lot because we both agree that it's like very painful and very scary to get touched by Slenderman. It's like bit by bit, the world falls away and you just see and hear and feel...blankness. I don't really know how to describe it I'm sorry guys but it's too weird. From what I can tell, this is how Slenderman hallows people out, he turns them into the Blank like that. It's really freaky stuff I think but also very fascinating...


Like because I wonder, did we create him from our dreams? Is he a product of the collective fear of humanity, poured out into the real world into this very real, very dangerous new enemy? If so, on what realm does Slenderman exist? Perhaps he exists in a realm of dreams, one where he can bend minds and float from place to place effortlessly in seconds, like he does. It would make sense and explain why he seems so wrong being in our world. He isn't meant to be in our world, because he's actually nothing but a dream. A dream made reality that can tear the fabric of the universe apart.


Yeeeeeah, um...nice going, humanity.


I know none of this makes much sense but I need something for my mind to chew on while I'm off on my walk these next few days, so I may get back to you if I have any more breakthroughs regarding 'Dream Theory.' <3


Aaaaaaand I should probably get the hell outta here. I can hear the couple who's house I'm sitting around, stealing internet in waking up now and I don't think they'd be very happy to find a gangly, red-haired teenage girl bumming around on their couch. hehe Bye guys!


Peace and Love,
Shannon

Soundtrack Post 1: Move Along

1...2...3...

Um...how do I start this?


The first thing I want to tell you about me is that I'm being followed by the Slenderman. I guess the purpose of this blog is to record my travels and thoughts while I run away from him. This isn't something I do casually, believe me...this whole situation is...honestly pretty dangerous and fucked. Being followed by this thing...or chased, whatever...is no laughing matter. Like seriously, it's been hell. It needs to be treated with the utmost care, you understand?


My name is Shannon, by the way. Since my 19th birthday, I've been stalked...to be honest, it hurts me the more and more I think about it. I was going to go to college...I had a great boyfriend...I had a family who loved me and wasn't shitty like seemingly every other family everywhere and like, a million friends. But of course, Slenderman ruined that for me.


I'm currently settled in Aurora, Colorado, and after being inspired by M's blog posts and her rules(which are probably the only reason I'm alive right now btw) I decided to settle down for a bit and type this blog post. I want people to know that by running, by learning, and by understanding, you can win. Maybe not in the sense that you can get back to your family, restart, and be happy and live a normal life the way you always intended to but...like, you can tell Slenderman to fuck off! And live your live, regardless of him! Maybe just by fighting back, you win back some small part of yourself, like...some very necessary thing within you. I don't know, maybe I'm just rambling. Cut me some slack okay?


I don't have too much to offer right now without getting preachy on you...I can be that kind of girl when I want, but I'm a bit of a loon, so I'm willing to try anything to help out and give people some support. Think of me as like a scientist but with less money. I guess I'll be running some 'experiments' on myself and Slenderman in the next few days to test a theory of mine out, so like, don't go anywhere. If I make it out alive, I'll post the results...wish me luck! ^___^


Peace and Love,
Shannon